Thursday, 22 October 2015
Trying to keep positive.
I really want to keep my blog a positive space, but sometimes I just feel down. Sometimes I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, and sometimes I just want to give up.
Last night I even talked about shutting down my blog. I dont know why. Im not doing this for fame or fortune. I never expect to make any money from this. My main goal when I started this was to meet new people and help in my recovery from depression and anxiety.
This to an extent is happening. I have met some amazing new friends. I never feel alone because my twitter feed is filled now with other bloggers that I have met, had fun with and who I know will support me and in turn I will support them. I am also in a few private chats with other bloggers who are there for each other all the time.
However, my fibromyalgia is getting worse. I have had to drop out of a blogger slumber party which I was really looking forward to because I cant travel down there alone in case I am ill. It really sucks.
I think people who see me see the happy smily person I am portraying. I said to a friend the other day that I am starting to dislike more people in my real life and she said thats not like you. I think the thing with depression is that your brain tells you that this is how you feel and its hard to overcome that!
I think what I am trying to say is that it is ok not to be ok sometimes. I am going to cut myself some slack, let myself stay in bed on my days off if I really want to. Wear some comfy pjs. Eat some really cheesy pasta and hope that slowly I can beat this before it beats me.