One of the things that I have always said about my blog is that I want it to be a place of honesty. I also want it to be a positive place, but this isn't always possible. Sometimes I feel crappy, physically and mentally and I don't think it helps if I post on my blog that everything is always grand. Sometimes I have to let you guys know that I don't feel ok ... and thats ok.
I would say during this month I have felt like I have to keep pushing myself forward. Theres lots to do leading up to Christmas. Presents to buy, lights to see, work to do, lots of eating out etc. And you know what? I feel exhausted. I have mention before I suffer from fibromyalgia, and while my pain seems to be under control at the moment, my fatigue is not.
I spent the whole day in bed thursday. My body needed it. Yet all I felt was guilty. Guilty that the housework wasn't getting done, and guilty that I couldn't do the few hours overtime I had said I would do to help out at work. I manged to go out in the evening for an hour or so and yet I felt really down. Then again I felt guilty that you know, its nearly Christmas and I am supposed to be happy all the time. I have nothing to be depressed about and yet some days I feel totally lost.
I think as a community us bloggers are great at giving each other advice but when it comes to taking our own not so much. I know the kind of things I would be responding to a post like this with and yet I feel like a complete let down!
Anyway, now thats off my chest.