I posted the above onto my facebook last week, and there were an overwhelming number of likes on it, which made me start to think about how many people seem to be just existing rather than living.
Existing to me, living with depression and fibromyalgia, meant that I was ok.
I was happy to an extent and had minimal pain, and that was ok.
I was going to work in a job I wasn't particularly happy with, but that was ok because it paid the bills.
I was wearing mostly leggings and baggy tshirts which arent really my personal style, but that was ok because I didnt stand out.
I am not sure what sparked this feeling that my life was only OK, but ever since I got that thought it has consumed me. I have been writing lists of things I want to do, including who I want to be, how I want to dress and how I want to live. I have sent emails and I am pleased to say that I will soon be auditioning for an operatic soceity. Performing was such a big part of my life pre depression and its something I really want to do again.
I have started dressing for me. Like, really for me. Instead of wondering what other people think I am thinking do I feel like me in this outfit? That has been a big step forward for me!
I am starting to think about the direction I want to take my blog in and I have some huge ideas for the future, but the main thing is I want to continue making amazing friends through it!
I left my job yesterday. I am still working for the same hospital trust, but as a temporary staff member I can choose when and where I want to work. I can enjoy caring for patients which is what I have always wanted to do without getting so caught up in the politics that inevitably come from being full time in one place.
All in all I am looking forward to continuing a happy and healthy life. Who is coming with me?