The campaign the Depression Alliance is using this year is don't keep depression under your hat (which is why you have a lovely picture of me in a hat) and you can donate to the cause here.
How my Depression Feels
My depression can vary day to day, and I think that is something that people sometimes forget. I can generally manage my day to day life without having to spend hours crying into my pillow. In fact, sometimes I think if I could cry it would be a relief. Why? Because the worst part of depression for me is the empty feeling. There is no emotion sometimes, I just feel worthless and flat. Sometimes though when I do have a good old cry things feel a lot clearer and a lot better.
Sometimes I could be walking down the road and suddenly this thought would pop into my head about if I fell in front of a bus it would all be over. Then as quickly as it comes it goes again and then I feel guilty when I think of all the people I love and who love me.
Little Things That Help
Going out for a walk. This doesn't always help but now and again just getting out of my home environment and getting some fresh air does me the world of good.
A talk with Tom. I have noticed recently that I had stopped telling tom when I was feeling down. I think because I feel guilty for feeling down sometimes. Especially if we are having a good time, and I feel I have nothing to feel down about it and yet that sinking feeling just kicks in and feels like a huge weight. The old saying a problem shared is a problem halved really rings true here and I need to talk to him more.
Yoga. Either going to a class or doing yoga following youtube channels has really helped lately as it takes my focus completely to my breath and my body. I turn my focus to each muscle and force myself to think about anything other than my feelings.
Eating well. Since going back to slimming world a week ago and cutting down on the amount of fat I am eating and sugar I have been feeling a lot better (even despite being physically poorly this week with my chronic health conditions)
What I want you to know
That no matter how bad you feel you are never alone. I would always reccomend talking to someone, whoever that is. The Samaritans are a fantastic charity that helped me out a number of times when I was at university and at 3am couldnt sleep for worry.
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