I really need to take some stock photos of my own and have some more original images for my IBS posts. The problem is when I talk about my IBS, what photos would I use? There could be an arty shot of my toilet roll, my loperimide (anti shitting tablets for those who dont know) or even a selfie of me where I spend a lot of my time ... on the toilet?
People are quick enough to comment about having IBS. Oh yeah I got bloated after a curry because I have IBS or I cant eat gluten because of my IBS. While a lot of the time people mean well I cant help but feel that IBS gets a bad name as being "a bit of a sore tummy" or a "little bit of diarrhea" after you have eaten too much.
Well I am going to tell you in advance now this post gets a bit TMI so if thats not your thing then maybe turn away now and come back soon when I am not getting so personal? Ok?
IBS has affected my life for about 9 years now, and it has affected it every single day for about 6 months now. There have been times when I have not made it to the toilet. I have also sat on buses convinced that I am going to have an accident, desperately looking out of the window for a pub, supermarket, any place that I could possibly relieve myself.
I have turned down events because I have been worried that there wont be a toilet. Or that there will, but then all the beauty girls will be talking about me cause I spend so long in there. Come on girls we all know that we all go to the toilet in groups and I tell you know there is nothing worse than sitting in a toilet, wandering what unholy noise your insides are going to make while you know that your glamourous blogger friends are stood outside applying their makeup.
Then there is the crippling stomach cramps. Buscopan might be the absolute god of fixing it for me at the moment but when you wake up at 3am sweating and shaking with your stomach in knots. Your husband sleeping next to you, you dont want to have to disturb him to sort out tablets so you lie there feeling dizzy and nauseous and hope that youll go back off to sleep.
The anxiety. The worry weeks before anything that requires travelling out of your comfort zone. The doubt, that even though you know the train station has a toilet, what if it is out of order or someone else is in it. What if your train is so crowded you cant physically get out of your seat to get to the toilet? What if, god forbid, you cant hold it and have an accident in a strange new city with no help and no clue where the nearest facilities are.
We dont talk about this stuff enough.
Next time you think IBS is just a little stomach ache, or just something I am over reacting about, remember that this, coupled with my depression has left me not wanting to go on before. Wishing that something would just stop.
Im not going to let it beat me anymore. Im going to be trying everything to cope with this, and hopefully sharing it with you all here.
Do you know I have a fashion blog? Read it here