So, for a while when I was engrossed in diet culture I couldn't bare to look at my own naked body. I used to hate getting out of the bath and seeing myself in the mirror. The problem is when you are so caught in the hate cycle of your body you stand and pick apart every last piece of your body. If you stare at something long enough it starts to mould in front of you. I used to look at my belly, from every angle. I used to tell myself I would be happier when my body when it was thinner. So then I got thinner and still stood picking myself apart in the mirror. Did my arms always look like that? As my body got smaller I just found more and more things to dislike. Was I happy smaller? Was I F**k.
When I saw embrace the movie, one of the themes that stuck out to me was nudity. From the photographer that was taking pictures of nude women of all different shapes and sizes to Taryn herself starting this movement by posting a nude picture of herself on line, to her taking part in a nude swim back in Australia ... I was starting to see that there was something empowering about nudity. Too often in the media nude women are seen as something for the male gaze. Movements such as free the nipple are taking back a woman's right to her own body. Her body that is hers to love, enjoy and live comfortably in.
One of the main things that I have been faced with when I have told people that I am embracing naturism is that people say they don't mind being naked but wouldn't want to look at others naked, and I think this is part of the issue. People are too focused on how other people see them, too judgey about what is going on around them.
Since deciding to be more naked more I have felt so much more comfortable with my own body. I know what it looks like from multiple angles. i know that I have a soft round tummy which when I am feeling unwell and bloated can feel firm and uncomfortable. I know that I have small soft breasts, and bigger soft nipples, but they are mine and they are no one's to judge.
A few weeks ago I joined the British Naturism Society and despite there being a real lack of female presence on their everyone I have spoken to so far has been so lovely! I am going to be visiting Clover Spa for the YBN weekend next month and can't wait to share with you my first experience of a naturist event!